thoughts!

second year after my big steps..
steps on the personal and business level, on the business, it's becoming better, bas i donno y things on the personal level is not going well.......

a space in me got to be filled, maybe good life is not good !
should try worse life maybe, today i was thinking of trying to work as a taxi driver for one day, it looks fun, but challenging, and helpfull..

yes it is !

wont talk about it more, and wont think more, will enjoy my life :)

is is over ?!

it's been a while since i wrote something to myself ! :)
i started recovery period, and i know i'm strong enough, althoug that was my weakest part, but 7amdolilla...
now the funny thing that i always like to do :)
if nothing happens this coming days, then it’s definitely the end, and I have to get over it, but
IF, i saw her, or any coincidence happens, i have two options:
1. ignore, and pretend nothing happened, or
2. try again, and have all this pain all over again, but that would be stupid!

such a pain !
although it is one of the big fears, we always try to have it again..

oooh, i forgot that i'm a human, this is us !

yalla get back to work

thinking again!!

well, first,since i'm the only one who read this blog, i have to admit that i started to like "blogging" as sthg private, that i can read anytime in the future, and discover how confused i was...

thinking about what happened, i just believe that everything happens for a reason, and i believe kaman that maybe bad things happens to prevent worse....

although i'm hurt, but i have to thank someone, -i have to, does not mean i will- !!
being very nice and gentle, is smthg appreciated, and it should be...

even in that i'm lucky !! :)

click

a word i usually hear, but never in this context !
it was yesterday, when i had a very long conversation with a dear friend...
i just wanted to have a long relation, till we each know each others, and have time to think, and decide, but..
"it just didnt click"...
although it clicked with me ! :)
i felt lost, totally, as the main thing was vanishing in front of my eyes, and i was not able to do anything...just have to be polite, and respect "others" decisions.
could not step out of the car at that time, had a cigar, and went back home, even couldnt go to the office...
but sthg made the difference, it was the family, as we were having something at night, family and friends who's like a family for me, it was nice, and it helped...
now is the hard time, when i realize that it's the reality, and i have to stay away, and not even contact or think of it, coz if i did, it will hurt more....
hurt more,,,, i was convincing my self that i'm fine, but, i'm hurt.

lost!

very bad week, feeling very bad, depressed, and need a vacation....
today is good, inshAlla tomorrow is better...

mmmm, donno about other things, if i have to hope things will work or not...
but,
the best thing in my life till now, is that i have a gr8 family, a very relaxing home, supportive brother, and this is a bless!

7amdolilla...

strange feeling....

thinking....
cant even decide if things are good or bad, depressed, optimistic...

depressed about unimportant things, optimistic about the most important part of my life, but other things affect my life eventually...yes, they do..

it is really strange !