ba3dain

thoughts!

2009-08-24T16:05:00.000-07:00

second year after my big steps..
steps on the personal and business level, on the business, it's becoming better, bas i donno y things on the personal level is not going well.......

a space in me got to be filled, maybe good life is not good !
should try worse life maybe, today i was thinking of trying to work as a taxi driver for one day, it looks fun, but challenging, and helpfull..

yes it is !

2009-06-21T16:18:00.000-07:00

wont talk about it more, and wont think more, will enjoy my life :)

is is over ?!

2009-02-15T08:27:00.000-08:00

it's been a while since i wrote something to myself ! :)
i started recovery period, and i know i'm strong enough, althoug that was my weakest part, but 7amdolilla...
now the funny thing that i always like to do :)
if nothing happens this coming days, then it’s definitely the end, and I have to get over it, but
IF, i saw her, or any coincidence happens, i have two options:
1. ignore, and pretend nothing happened, or
2. try again, and have all this pain all over again, but that would be stupid!

such a pain !
although it is one of the big fears, we always try to have it again..

oooh, i forgot that i'm a human, this is us !

yalla get back to work

thinking again!!

2009-02-01T04:21:00.000-08:00

well, first,since i'm the only one who read this blog, i have to admit that i started to like "blogging" as sthg private, that i can read anytime in the future, and discover how confused i was...

thinking about what happened, i just believe that everything happens for a reason, and i believe kaman that maybe bad things happens to prevent worse....

although i'm hurt, but i have to thank someone, -i have to, does not mean i will- !!
being very nice and gentle, is smthg appreciated, and it should be...

even in that i'm lucky !! :)

click

2009-01-31T02:27:00.000-08:00

a word i usually hear, but never in this context !
it was yesterday, when i had a very long conversation with a dear friend...
i just wanted to have a long relation, till we each know each others, and have time to think, and decide, but..
"it just didnt click"...
although it clicked with me ! :)
i felt lost, totally, as the main thing was vanishing in front of my eyes, and i was not able to do anything...just have to be polite, and respect "others" decisions.
could not step out of the car at that time, had a cigar, and went back home, even couldnt go to the office...
but sthg made the difference, it was the family, as we were having something at night, family and friends who's like a family for me, it was nice, and it helped...
now is the hard time, when i realize that it's the reality, and i have to stay away, and not even contact or think of it, coz if i did, it will hurt more....
hurt more,,,, i was convincing my self that i'm fine, but, i'm hurt.

lost!

2009-01-26T12:02:00.001-08:00

very bad week, feeling very bad, depressed, and need a vacation....
today is good, inshAlla tomorrow is better...

mmmm, donno about other things, if i have to hope things will work or not...
but,
the best thing in my life till now, is that i have a gr8 family, a very relaxing home, supportive brother, and this is a bless!

7amdolilla...

2009-01-26T12:02:00.000-08:00

2009-01-26T11:49:00.001-08:00

strange feeling....

2009-01-18T02:09:00.000-08:00

thinking....
cant even decide if things are good or bad, depressed, optimistic...

depressed about unimportant things, optimistic about the most important part of my life, but other things affect my life eventually...yes, they do..

it is really strange !

2008-12-30T00:28:00.000-08:00

With million things in my head, of love, family, business, responsibilities....
Sometimes i think i cant have a clear vision....
I used to have targets, and work on them "in business", and i usually got what i want, but when it comes to other things....
can u have "to do list" to get somebody’s attention ?
can u have a milestone for love or marriage?
It is mutual, while u have to share ur feeling and try to figure out what ur "other half" have in mind...
and I’m not good in that !!

wait....

2008-12-12T12:45:00.000-08:00

it's strange how we "ppl" have the ability to wait and wait, while we have nothing but time !
i'm waiting actually, but i feel i have to convince my self that it's hopeless...
concentrate, and get back to life....
time is passing, and i'm losing hope, but to tell the truth, i'm not moving !
will wait and c :)

Limitless

2008-06-16T05:14:00.000-07:00

I liked the word, a friend of me was telling me about his construction company and that their project limit is “limitless” !
I wonder if everything was limitless, I remember once I did a mistake, I saw by coincidence a student, and she showed me her work…
I was so involved in a project so that I was thinking in a narrow corridor, and I told her that her design has got a lot of cantilevers and hence, it’d be so expensive…
I should’ve told her that her imagination should be “limitless”, when u design keep all options open, and don’t let anything stop u…
Sometimes ppl will like the -no limit design-. This is where creativity starts…
Limitless should be a way of life, think limitless, dream limitless…
Just dream u’ll get a perfect job, a place with limitless boundaries, lover with limitless emotions, friend with limitless trust, and the greatest family in the world, just dream and let ur dreams guide ur life….
U will deal with reality of course, but at least will still have hope…

yukk

2008-06-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

hhhhhhh
although i have a lot of work, and many projects-which is gr8-, but i sometime feel depressed, lonely...sometimes i feel my head will blow up….
I feel I need to walk alone…get that experience, when everything looks different as if u c it for the first time, I need sthg new, maybe a 3 days off, maybe I have to go to a new place, I wish I can just switch my mobile off for two days and leave…..
I thought when I graduate, everything will be gr8 –it is gr8- but there’s some space that gotta be filled…
I don’t want to work anymore…
I know I had this feeling in uni, where I used to do things I want to do ..
And I didn’t care about anything, or anyone…
it was a real nice days, and I remember how it started !
I had an exam, and as usual, I had to prepare myself, at least to feel I did sthg. I woke up suddenly at 9:05, the exam started 9:00 !!
I didn’t want to study for that one, history, yukkk
And I failed of course…
One other thing that was really amazing, and made me laugh years after…
Stupid ppl in the department wanted us to have a “design exam”!! What the hell is that!!
I believe there shouldn’t be such a thing, so I decided not to go
They started at 9, till 4 – I think- and I didn’t show up, my friends kept calling, so i thought i should go and just pass, and this is what I did !!
i was there at 12, hardly did sthg, and passed that stupid test….

Enjoy what u’re doing…
Life is full of pressure, u don’t need any more !
I should say it to my self -lol-, so I will arrange everything to do things I like only..-I hope- :S

tomorrow !

2008-06-03T23:52:00.000-07:00

woooh
sometimes i feel far away from technology when talking with some friends, today i decided to have my blog.
i couldnt find an available name, so i decided that i will do it ba3dain,,,,ba3dain?!
such a name !!
as i always say i will do things ba3dain and it ends with a new monitor(s) skin called "notes" :)
glad i made it...
will learn about this blog thing ba3dain ...